Desire

August 12, 2019 by

Desire

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I want simplicity
Life gives me chaos
Things dying
being born
I know nothing

It seems Life is determined to get me out of my head and into my heart. It’s not comfortable. And, at the same time it feels just right. To let this moment lead me to the next thing. Not reacting to, but a deep listening within. What wants to come through me in this moment, be embodied, acted on. … bypassing my head into Being.


Life as I knew it is gone. I feel as if I’m in kindergarten. Who would have thought LOL!

Filed Under: Heart's wisdom, Life, Love Tagged With:

Texting

July 14, 2019 by
Sr. Paula Gonzales

Good for data transfer
“I’m here at the back table”
“Running 10 min. late”
“What was the address again”

Or for “I’m thinking of you”
“Good Morning”
“You’re in my prayers”

But not for conversation.
There’s no intimacy,
you can multitask.

If you want to talk
I want your full attention
Your heart not just thoughts

I’m greedy about what
I want from my friends, and
I’m rich because they give it.

Filed Under: Choice, Life, Love, We are creators

Love

June 27, 2019 by

What is love?
A feeling of the heart
not between your legs
not “happy head” between your ears

Love just is
a spacious embrace
of the other

You can love everyone
but not want to live with them
not want to hang out with them
not really be able to understand them

Love does not require
understanding, does not
have to make sense

Love baffles the ego
it defies the rules we’ve learned
it goes beyond “tit for tat” and all
sense of who deserves it, who’s enough

Maybe….

Love just is, a Divine gift
embracing us, connecting us
to the Mystery of Life

Filed Under: Heart's wisdom, Life, Love, Presence, We are creators

THE MOTHER IN FATHER’S DAY

June 16, 2019 by

We’re part of a long line, yes generations
of women, who couldn’t mother.
Who weren’t mothered themselves.
Whose wounds stopped them from
offering the sustenance, support,
and cuddling so needed.

But the earth is rumbling
a deep remembering
disturbing our souls.
The feminine, the goddess, the
Divine Mother is beginning to
call, signaling “It’s Time.”

To see perfection in each soul
thirsting for acceptance,
safety, affirmation, kindness…
Bringing us back into our bodies
that are numb, afraid, angry.
Letting Divine Love flow and heal.

Reaching out to the long line of men,
generations who couldn’t father,
who weren’t fathered
who repressed what they felt,
who strove to be strong and in control,
yet angry and fearful under it all.

Without the mother,
the father grows brittle

On Father’s Day
the Divine Mother
offers herself.
Drink of me,
Let me hold you
in my embrace

Male and female
Understand you are
two sides of the same coin
blending into wholeness.
Let the Divine Feminine
guide you….TRUST.

Filed Under: fathers, Heart's wisdom, Life, Love, mothers, Oneness Tagged With: , ,

Broken

May 28, 2019 by

I’m mad that you are not getting it.
Can’t you see the pattern?
Over and over again?
Getting the same results?
Running won’t get you anywhere.
You need to dig deep and find the
courage to face his lies about you.
To trust you aren’t what he tells you,
not even what you tell yourself.
Dad’s winning
I am so angry, so helpless.
Three glasses of wine aren’t helping.
What do I do?
Where’s my center?
It’s my pattern over
and over again.
Hilarious!
We are joined at the hip.

Filed Under: Choice, Life Tagged With: , ,

What Do You See?

May 10, 2019 by

If you don’t look too closely
it’s perfect, the riot of colors
the hopeful Spring in bloom

The Butterweed looks intentional
the migrated Goldenrod fills in holes
the wild grasses soften the sharp edges

Only up close when you pick out
the unwanted clover and ground elder
thin the uncontrolled growth of lamb’s ears

Only when you look closely and decide
“not that, not here” does dissatisfaction
start to drain the magnificence of what you see.

This Spring brought to mind the John Cage quote, “What makes you think I’m not something you like?” I wonder, at what point are we blinded to the beauty around us because we’re too busy getting rid of what we don’t like. Are we too conditioned as to what is acceptable, beautiful, worth having?

I think it’s a really good question if you can dig deep enough to get past all that you’ve learned, past what you think is socially acceptable for no good reason other than conformity. I’m beginning to ask: “What do I love?” vs. judging what I don’t like. It’s got forward movement and opens my heart. We’ll see…


“What makes you think I’m not something you like?”

Filed Under: Choice, Life Tagged With: ,

Liminal* space

May 3, 2019 by

Space opening up
a quiet “isness”
just being

Not yet being called
Learning to follow
the inner prompt

Not knowing the
“whys” behind
Experiencing

Letting the feelings
guide to a deeper
understanding

Trusting life’s
unfolding
of me

*A liminal space is the time between the ‘what was’ and the ‘next.’ It is a place of transition, waiting, and not knowing.

I’m aware things are shifting. It would be easy to live in my head, to not trust the urgings to explore. Yet, every time I pay attention to what I am experiencing and go where it leads, I end up freer.
Sometimes a belief or conclusion I’m carrying that is untrue and limiting surfaces. Sometimes I feel an inner urging to do something that doesn’t make a lot of sense to my mind. Sometimes later, I see what that experience gave me; sometimes I don’t.

Life is for us…We are given all we need to live fully and be who we are created to be. Sometimes the gift is clothed in a challenge, sometimes in a pretty box, and sometimes it’s living in liminal space.

Filed Under: Life Tagged With: ,

Now

January 24, 2019 by

Can a cup of coffee
be a meditation?
Can I be so present
with the warmth of the cup
or the roasted smell of beans
that I let my self go?
let my Self be in this moment?

Living off the mat,
off that formal time of
emptying, noticing,
observing.
Can I stay present?

Can I welcome
what comes
through me?
Be awake enough to notice,
see, hear, feel it?
Would such a simple life
drag me into a cave?

Or would I burst out
into the world ablaze
with love?

For the past year, I’ve been asking the question: “Who am I now?” Now, without my husband and without my daughter (both of whom passed recently). Who am I without the roles, the relationships, and the love I’d known.

Recently it came to me: I’m asking the wrong question!
I’ve been seeking another story about who I am in the world, one I can slip-into and live comfortably in. One that would define me and pull me in from floating in space.

But a friend suggested the question was not necessarily about a new story. That the meaning would shift if I focused on the “now” part. Who am I now?

She was right. “Now” it changes with each second of time. It is not a constant but a flow. It’s not about coming up with a new a story about me but an awakening to what is.

So I’m playing with new questions, What am I experiencing now?, What do I want to express now? What am I led to do now?

For one who taught strategic planning, this is a bit different. But it feels right…at least for now.


Filed Under: Life, Love, Oneness, Presence Tagged With: , , ,

Evolution of Self

December 27, 2018 by

Evolution of Self

Projection?
Validation?
Reflection?

We become
through others
ever more deeply
ourselves.

 

Written in response to a Medium Chalkboard Expresso (15 words or less) prompt by Harper Thorpe

December, 2018

Filed Under: Life, Love, Oneness, We are creators Tagged With: , ,

“D” is for…

November 28, 2018 by

I used to check
my calendar
for names:

B for birthday
AN for anniversary–
triggers to send a card

to remember
how our lives
intertwine.

When did I start
putting “D” by names?
It’s aging they say,
loss is part of it.

But knowing doesn’t
soften the sharp edges
of the missing pieces.

“God fills the holes”
“Reinvent yourself”
“Time to turn inward….”

But I stare at the “D”s
and wonder….
overwhelmed

by the mystery,

the fragility,
the preciousness
of Life.

.

Filed Under: death, Fear or Courage, Life, We are creators Tagged With: ,
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