The Void

October 4, 2022 by

The past months
Flying by
Thoughts come
And go

Everything is happening
Nothing is happening
How can that be?
I’m left with just “this”

The “now” of it
It’s changing so fast
I’m forced to let go, and
Then, peace reveals itself

I’ve not written in the past few months. It’s not that things haven’t happened. A cousin getting cancer, friends needing help with health issues, a sister with CO poisoning, world events, endless political drama, overload of emails, Russia/Ukraine, and it goes on and on and on.

But as I learn to let it all go, pay attention to what’s in front of me, and listen to what I’m called to follow up on, something has been shifting. There’s a peace in all the chaos. Sometimes I think there must be something wrong with me that I’m not more upset…but I’m not.

Is this the “Peace beyond understanding”…the one that comes from inside, from that wiser place?

Filed Under: Heart's wisdom, Life Tagged With:

The Unexpected

February 23, 2022 by

This birthday
felt different.
It was a transition.
To what? I didn’t know.
I needed to celebrate.
Celebrate what? I didn’t know.

But friends heard me.
And, they showed up
bearing gifts, sending cards
taking me out for lunch,
taking me to an opera.

And then it came to me.
Filling me to overflowing.
And I let it in.
I felt loved!

The Universe has a way of gifting us when we least expect it. I don’t usually celebrate my birthdays. But this one felt different and I told my friends. They heard me and responded. And then, perhaps for the first time in my life, I felt loved…by friends and the Universe. It’s not that I didn’t know I was loved before, but I don’t think I took it in. But this time I got it. I felt loved. I still feel loved. The door to my heart opened. The Universe works in mysterious ways. I’m learning to trust it.

Filed Under: Heart's wisdom, Love, Receiving

Turning

October 16, 2021 by

I’m turning a corner
What does that mean?
I don’t know

What’s next?
I don’t know

What now?
I trust

For the last few months things have been shifting. How? I can’t tell you. Some of it has been inner work as I release, at a deeper level, some of what I took on as a child and throughout my life that does not serve me. Hurts, self-doubt, fear of being seen, not believing I matter….all resurfacing so I can more consciously say, “I forgive myself and others. I let go. I just am.”

I’m learning to live in liminal space, the time between the ‘what was’ and the ‘next’.
I’m practicing becoming self aware vs self obsessed. Noticing the mental chatter, the mind busy planning, reacting, telling my story yet again. I then consciously breath and focus on doing whatever it is I’m doing. What’s my body feeling? Breath. Really see the carrot I’m cutting or the weeds I’m pulling. Breath. Feel whatever emotion arises but don’t start telling a story about it. Breath. And Life continues to unfold in me and around me.

Simply experiencing what is brings peace. I’m beginning to trust. I pay attention to the little surprises and notice how things work out in ways I couldn’t possibly expect (another blog). I continue to practice.

Filed Under: Choice, Heart's wisdom, Life, Presence Tagged With: ,

PEACE

December 25, 2020 by

I’m not who you want me to be
not your expectations of woman
not your ideal daughter
Not behaving the way you think I should
Not living in fear and self-judgment

I believe what I do
I feel what I feel
I let go of my stories, they’re history
I’m going to stop being embarrassed
because I’m happy and you aren’t

I’m accepting my body as it is
my sexuality and desires as they are
Being right here, right now
is taking on new meaning
because it’s true, I AM

This year has been about letting go of what I’m not. Of letting fall away what is not mine to have. It’s been about being at peace in the middle of chaos, anger, distortions and the fear all around us. It’s been about learning to not blame anything outside of me for what I’m feeling inside.

These changes have been unfolding all year. They are the precious gifts given to me this year.
So this Christmas, I’m choosing peace. acceptance of what is, faith in what I cannot know, trust in mySelf and most importantly trust in this Divine Love, Intelligence, Presence that surrounds me.

I wish for all of you Peace and Happiness. Merry Christmas!

Filed Under: authenticity, Heart's wisdom, Love, Presence Tagged With: , ,

A Prayer

November 5, 2020 by

To have presence of mind
The keen awareness of what is
without prejudice, distortion or fear
So right action can emerge
Light showing the way

(Poem originally published in Chalkboard in response to Bindu Lamba’s Chalkboard prompt “presence”.)

In today’s maelstrom of politics and COVID, I keep reminding myself to avoid drama, judgmental accusations and “worse case” scenarios. To stay present in my heart-mind, listening for the higher truth trying to come through. To be content with not knowing and to act in service of the higher good. This is my goal and and my prayer.

Filed Under: Heart's wisdom, Presence, We are creators Tagged With: ,

Not in Control

September 11, 2020 by

I don’t control the seasons,
but I’m not helpless.
I walk on the ground with care.

I felt lost in sadness and almost a despair these last few days. And then this morning, when I was meditating, this poem came. Not being in control doesn’t mean I’m helpless.

A friend told me how great these times were because it was a chance to practice what we believe. In the midst of all the chaos and negativity, I can choose what I focus on, what I want to embody, how I want to be in the world.

If in this moment I can be fully present…. right action will follow.

Filed Under: Choice, Heart's wisdom, Life, We are creators Tagged With:

COVID19, BLACK LIVES MATTER…my words have left me.

July 13, 2020 by

I’ve been too overwhelmed with it all to write, thinking it’s already been said, or it doesn’t matter, or that I just don’t have the words. The questions seem to abound.

Re: COVID19- What is really true? What is really known and what is still being understood. What’s politically motivated or self serving? What is freedom? Where do personal freedom and compassion intersect? Isn’t living in fear worse the getting the virus?
Re: Black Lives Matter- Somethings were too painful to watch the first time, do I really want to talk about it again? What can you say that isn’t more dividing? How can you stop generalizing to everyone in a perceived group? Do people really want to understand “racism,” systemic bias, our history?
And what about the creative process? I’ve been asked, “Isn’t focusing on all the violence, discrimination, white superiority etc., just giving more energy to what you don’t want?

So this may be the first of a series as I sort through my answers, letting the feelings flow over me and the thoughts swirl.

I’ve come to realize and value letting myself feel the feelings as opposed to pushing them down. This has been, and is, a major part of moving through this complicated time; breathing through the feelings, not getting lost in them. And being overwhelmed at times seems like it is part of being human….and, I’m realizing, that includes me.

I also know that I can choose to live in heaven or hell right now. When I choose to see the possibilities, the genuine care of many, and when I trust that love is stronger than hate and fear, I live in heaven.

And finally, I believe these times are sacred and we are being given an opportunity to sift through what is happening, work together in ways we may never have before and arrive at a place we haven’t yet imagined.

I hope you’ll stay tuned. I know I will. LOL!

Filed Under: Choice, Fear or Courage, Heart's wisdom, Love, We are creators Tagged With: , , , ,

Jesus Didn’t Change Any Thing*

April 26, 2020 by

[This came to me as a partial answer after asking, “What’s mine to do in this pandemic world we live in; a world with such inequalities, unknowns and isolation?”]

Jesus Didn’t Change Any Thing*

He didn’t topple governments
He didn’t stop people from killing each other
He didn’t close the gap between the elites and poor.

He simply lived the Truth:
We are not separate from the Father
What He could do, we could, if we remembered.

Jesus didn’t change any thing
He was his true Self,
and people changed.

The message in this for me was to remember. To become conscious of what I was creating through my thoughts and feelings. To choose to see the good, to feel compassion, gratitude, appreciation. Right now, that is mine to do.

*excluding the water into wine and the loaves and fishes “things”

Note: I used Father but to me God is Father/Mother/Friend.

Filed Under: Heart's wisdom, Love, We are creators Tagged With: ,

Change

October 13, 2019 by

I walked
this morning
bare feet on grass
numbing with the cold

Fall is here
less light to
wake me, less
to give me energy

The desire
to hibernate
growing stronger
with each shorter day

Seasons
Cycles of life
Can I pay attention
to the call of what is?

from Cincinnati Enquirer
from Cincinnati Enquirer

I’m noticing I have preconceived ideas of how I should be and of what I should be doing. Ideas of what is socially acceptable, expected, the cultural norm.

Probably my whole life I’ve done what I thought I should, what was right. Now I just want to do what is mine to do. Listening to my inner voice, not always have reasons to back it up. Trusting!

Cincinnati is the host of Blink, a light based art festival covering 30 city blocks. How can I not want to see what will undoubtedly be fantastic art? But I don’t. I’ve revisited my reluctance numerous times until finally I got the message:

Accept what is. You don’t want to go!

Filed Under: Choice, Fear or Courage, Heart's wisdom

Desire

August 12, 2019 by

Desire

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is IMG_3499-768x1024.jpeg

I want simplicity
Life gives me chaos
Things dying
being born
I know nothing

It seems Life is determined to get me out of my head and into my heart. It’s not comfortable. And, at the same time it feels just right. To let this moment lead me to the next thing. Not reacting to, but a deep listening within. What wants to come through me in this moment, be embodied, acted on. … bypassing my head into Being.


Life as I knew it is gone. I feel as if I’m in kindergarten. Who would have thought LOL!

Filed Under: Heart's wisdom, Life, Love Tagged With:
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