I’m not who you want me to be
not your expectations of woman
not your ideal daughter
Not behaving the way you think I should
Not living in fear and self-judgment
I believe what I do
I feel what I feel
I let go of my stories, they’re history
I’m going to stop being embarrassed
because I’m happy and you aren’t
I’m accepting my body as it is
my sexuality and desires as they are
Being right here, right now
is taking on new meaning
because it’s true, I AM
This year has been about letting go of what I’m not. Of letting fall away what is not mine to have. It’s been about being at peace in the middle of chaos, anger, distortions and the fear all around us. It’s been about learning to not blame anything outside of me for what I’m feeling inside.
These changes have been unfolding all year. They are the precious gifts given to me this year.
So this Christmas, I’m choosing peace. acceptance of what is, faith in what I cannot know, trust in mySelf and most importantly trust in this Divine Love, Intelligence, Presence that surrounds me.
I wish for all of you Peace and Happiness. Merry Christmas!
Your posting is a beautiful gift to yourself and others. We look for peace, some people fight for peace, but it’s within us waiting to be let out. Continue your journey and keep sharing because you remind me that we are all in this together.
Thank you for sharing.
I am so enjoying have Kathleen and Elaine as neighbor friends and am glad to have gotten to know all three of you!!!!
What a lovely gift! You give to us as you give this to yourself. Merry Christmas, my dear friend.
The title says it all. Thank you
Barbara, I so appreciate your openness, vulnerability, honesty, and clarity. You inspire me, as I know you inspire others, and I’m so glad to have you in my life as a new friend. I hope and trust you’re having a peace-filled winter holiday time!
MAGNIFICENT. My peace has come from seeing and accepting the ambiguity that is everywhere. I have centered within it and have learned how to center from watching my washing machine balance a load. All the opposites within it find a spot and create a balance for the agitator to work properly. The center spins and settles in while all the pieces stay in the tub balancing each other out. Grandmother Bagby had a favorite saying when Mother would complain or us kids would complain about injustice: “IT ALL COMES OUT IN THE WASH”, Grandmother would say, with the wisdom and knowing of the ages. Her voice would be recalcitrant and accepting, clothed in grief and lamenting. Hard work scrubbing the clothes with her handmade lye soap in the cast iron pot of boiling water outdoors in the backyard where I grew up in Russellville: this gave her PEACE within. I didn’t understand it then, but I do now. We all do our own laundry, find our peace within from our own hard work and share the good results with the others around us. Our clean peace and our willingness to do the work inspires those around us. They feel it and they want it and perhaps they, too, will get in there and wash the inside of the pot.
It is a great and silent comfort to me to know you, Barbara, and to realize you are out there doing the work, sharing your insights with similar women and men, inspiring all of us to keep on shining our lights and creating love.. Thank you, my friend.