Trust in God but Tie Your Camel*

besliter “Llama”

Have faith
but see your own
inconsistencies

Strive to be whole hearted
but be willing to see your
own doubt

COVID-19, ground zero
could it be
our teacher?

This poem is my response to the Chalkboard prompt “Ground,” March 11th by D. E. Fulford. What follows are my further thoughts about how we are living this reality.

Note: This piece is about how we think about our power to create. It is not about our interdependency nor our duty to our community. Please don’t confuse this with these issues.

With all the confusing information, the hype and the scares regarding COVID-19, what do you do? You say you believe in the power of your word. Do you just go on as usual knowing you are whole, complete, safe? Or do you consider the possibility that you may still have conflicting beliefs, doubts, cultural and family programing that just may operating in the background?

A friend of mine once met with Mike Dooley, someone who understands the power of our visioning and of our word. When asked if he had health insurance, he said “yes.” My friend looked at him and said, “Oh right. It’s thought insurance.”

I believe that we need to focus on the end result we want, knowing it is done, seeing it fully, imagining having it now. But I also believe you need to see the current reality clearly without judgment. And for many of us that means being willing to do inner work. The inner work of becoming aware of what is happening inside of us: observing our body’s reaction to what is going on, paying attention to our feelings and to the thoughts/beliefs behind our body’s reaction and our feelings.

My experience is that that you have to become conscious of what is driving you before you are able to release it. And, it is only after you release it, that you can truly say “I’m no longer subject to what my [conditioned] mind believes.” (adapted from Michael Beckwith)

During this time, say your formal prayers, do your visioning. But also watch the words that come out of your mouth when talking with friends, and notice the words that roam around in your head. Pay attention to your body, your feelings and get curious about what is behind them.

What are you creating?

*Adapted from Sufi stories. It is also one of the reported sayings of the Islamic prophet Muhammad.

It Came

I love to write short poems in response to Chalkboard’s weekly prompt. I’m often surprised at what emerges. Sometimes it’s embarrassing, especially when folks assume I’m writing about me. Sometimes though, I’m reminded of a time, an experience…
Here’s my response to their last prompt “thrust.”

IT CAME

The news thrust in my face
No gentle way to say
He’s dying.

1/22/20 prompt Thrust by Nyaalo Mia

Choices

New Year’s Eve: it’s a time to reflect on the past year and, instead of setting goals, listen for what calls me. Looking back over the years really, I see variations of themes. With the years, I go deeper in understanding and am better in my ability to embodying those things I’ve chosen.

For example, the four fundamental choices I made in the late 80’s working with Robert Fritz’s Creating Course*. I’m still choosing them.

I choose to be the predominant creative force in my life —- God works through me, as me but I must choose to listen and act on the guidance received. Silencing the mind and waiting to hear what’s mine to do, what I’m attracted to, what’s a next step (without the whole plan being laid out) is challenging. But, it is how I’m striving to live.

I choose to be free—-Letting go of all the conditioned responses, beliefs, and ways of perceiving that slip in-between what is and my experiencing what is. This, it seems, takes practice. I have found my feelings are clues as to whether I’m seeing clearly. Too often I’m reacting, my thinking based on my history, past learning, memories, on the rules and regulations of others…. I’m freeing myself to be who I Am.

I choose health—-I watch how food, drink, lack of activity can all rob me of vitality. I’m watching more carefully how stress can encourage me to numb out vs. just sitting with it and knowing feelings will flow, and that situations will change. The Body Temple, a vehicle for the Divine to manifest on earth… Well, ok I’m not quite at the Temple stage but I am loving this body that carries me around.

I choose to be true to myself—-My true Self, not the self that was defined by my “religion”, parents, heritage, genes, personal history, or the culture I live in. Choosing to be true to mySelf is essential if I’m to be the predominant creative force in my life. It may mean being on the fringe of groups. It definitely means not putting something outside of myself over myself. It requires that I trust, trust that I’m enough.

Some thirty years later I see how choices matter. How what has come to me is in response to what I’ve asked for. I’m grateful for my life, the people in it and all that was given me (even the experiences I wouldn’t have chosen). All of it enabling me to be here now.

Happy New Year 2020.

*The Path of Least Resistance by Robert Fritz.

Naked

We are heart
pounding beats of life
feeling the ocean in waves

letting go
I am more
available to what is

emerging through me
with my “YES”
to life & love

I am dance
the music plays
It moves through me

Who Rules?

besliter Sky Series

Who rules your world?
Controls your thoughts?
Tells you what is right?

Fire them!

response to the Medium prompt “Rule” by JK Mansi
Published on Medium’s Chalkboard site 10/17/19

Change

I walked
this morning
bare feet on grass
numbing with the cold

Fall is here
less light to
wake me, less
to give me energy

The desire
to hibernate
growing stronger
with each shorter day

Seasons
Cycles of life
Can I pay attention
to the call of what is?

from Cincinnati Enquirer
from Cincinnati Enquirer

I’m noticing I have preconceived ideas of how I should be and of what I should be doing. Ideas of what is socially acceptable, expected, the cultural norm.

Probably my whole life I’ve done what I thought I should, what was right. Now I just want to do what is mine to do. Listening to my inner voice, not always have reasons to back it up. Trusting!

Cincinnati is the host of Blink, a light based art festival covering 30 city blocks. How can I not want to see what will undoubtedly be fantastic art? But I don’t. I’ve revisited my reluctance numerous times until finally I got the message:

Accept what is. You don’t want to go!

Mourning

I want you to be Joseph
to hold me in your arms
and complete me.

But I know the time has come.
I must look inside to realize,
I am whole.

Joseph’s birthday is Oct. 12th. I am surprised at the sadness that has enveloped me. I deeply miss what we had together. I know that moving forward means integrating those parts of me he brought to life — the sense of adventure, my femininity, never meeting a stranger…

It happens — one day at a time!

Life is a journey of awakening, of shedding what we were trained to be, of being willing to open to the mystery of what is now and of what will be.

I am grateful!

CRAZY

…it wasn’t because I didn’t know enough
I just knew too much”…
Does that make me crazy?”
*

besliter Port Charlotte, FL

On overwhelm seems the norm.
Out of control racism, sexism,
“other”isms, climate change…

I ache to know an answer.
My body gets heavy with the
not knowing. I want to pull back.

I ground myself in the dirt,
see what’s growing, listen
to the heartbeat of the earth.

I looked in a waiter’s eyes yesterday.
He seemed startled, he noticed.
Really seeing a person, a start.

*Gnarls Barkley – Crazy

I should know. I’ve taught courses on racism, sexism…how could I still get surprised? “I’m a good person, at least I strive to be.” Yet, like a fish in water that doesn’t see water, I’m in a culture where white is shown as intelligent, good, the norm; shown as the face of Jesus.
Others make the news in the crime section of the paper, serve us in restaurants, work in our yards.

Do we have the courage to look, to see clearly? to get over ourselves? Can we stop putting individuals into buckets of stereotypes? Can we work our own shadow and stop projecting our fear, our anger, our neediness onto others?
All “isms” have a history but we need to stop doing what we are doing today. See inequality as affecting the lives of people, not making them inferior, not making us better.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. “. Maya Angelou

REVOLUTION

Questions drive me
What am I?
What am I not?
What do I know is true?

Moving away from
those who proclaim to know
I’m listening to a different voice.

One deep inside
that whispers next steps
demands my unconditional yes
reveals my deepest heartfelt desires

One demanding
I strip bare, stepping away
from my conditioned self to

Sculpture by Debbie Flowers

seek the truth of where
my ideas have come from.
Examining the unexamined,
trusting myself, risk going it alone.

Our world is too much run by fear
too much by the conditioning of others,
the norms they’ve set, serving their own needs.

It’s time to set ourselves free!

Clashing Notes

A note of dissonance
entered the relationship
Notice the offbeat moves
Note to self: it’s over!

besliter 9/5/2019
Poem was written in response to Medium prompt: Note by Fierce Force

Relationships are a mix of our own projections and experiences and those of others.

I wonder if we can ever see someone clearly, without wishful thinking, assumptions, judgements, beliefs.

And even more importantly, can we have the courageous conversations to check out our perceptions? Or, do we just take action based on them?

In this world of polarized opinions/judgments/beliefs, our handling of dissonance seems even more important. So, what will I do……