ECHO*

Do I blindly send back
what comes to me ?
One breath,
Sinking into
my own depths
I stop the
transmission.

It’s hard these days not to react. Sometimes it’s the news. Or, maybe you just got that post on Facebook. Sometimes it’s just what a friend or family member says with such certainty. Our reaction is quick: maybe a feeling of hurt, anger, or fear. Our thoughts go to judgment, defense, self righteousness, rationalization.

Can we really believe these times are a blessing? I believe it’s a time to really experience the world around us. And, instead of getting upset, learning to go deeper. Learning to listen to the deeper wisdom of our hearts as to why we are here, why we are experiencing what we are. Learning to experience the Love that is constantly creating this incredible world around us.

I’m learning to pay attention to my heart while experiencing life. Learning to ask questions and to wait. I let the Light (God, Divine Presence, inner knowing…) come to me when I’m centered and listening. And, I’m aware when I’m pulled back into the thinking mind. The mind that’s been conditioned by all that came before me and by all the conditioning that started the moment I was born. A mind that serves me but doesn’t understand and can’t experience the truth of who I am.

This is not an easy process. My mind is strong, my fears can still be great. But I am coming to trust that as I become more aware, I really can see the world through Light of Love. Love is stronger than hate. I’m blessed to be living at a time when I’m knocked out of my comfort zone.

*Inspired by Medium’s Chalkboard prompt “Echo” by Richard L. Boyer.
9/27/20

I almost gave up

I was excited about creating  a new fireplace mantle.

After my epiphany in February, I started calling masons, stone workers, even outside garden designers. I stopped in any place that remotely stained mantle-Version-2looked like they could do stone work.  But I found that no one was interested in tackling this sadly stained fireplace.   I explored fireplace facings, but none were designed to cover the length of the wall as our mantle did. I began to see my hopes of a mantle I really liked fade. I was running out of options.

Finally Tom, a brick works chimney guy, responded to my queries. He was a burly guy sporting a substantial beard and wearing overalls. He seemed a “no frills” but reliable type.  He said, “For two hundred I can replace the middle limestone piece.” I thought, “Well, I haven’t had much luck finding any other approach. It would be cheap and get rid of the stain.” I said, “Put me on the schedule.” He said he would.  Then, I never heard from him again.

Dismayed, there was more searching, calling and asking around.  Gary was a construction-type handyman. He asked me to send him some pictures. Excited, I sent my best iPhone shots. He emailed back and said for $600 he’d replace all three 4.5 ft top sections. “It was a better way to go,” he said, “since new stone wouldn’t necessarily match.”  OK, this would at least get me back to how the mantle originally looked, better than nothing.  “Put me on your schedule.”  I never heard from him again.

By now 6 months had passed and I was discouraged. “It will never get fixed!” I thought as I sullenly stared at the stained mantle. I never liked the mantle. It wasn’t particularly attractive and the top was too narrow to easily put things on. I sighed! Should I just leave it? If we ever sell the house the new owner could tear it out.

It was then I realized I’d drifted from creating a fireplace mantle I’d like, to desperately trying to find someone, anyone,  who could make the stain go away.  I was no longer creating.  My frustration pushed me into reacting against; getting rid of the stain. I refocused. I didn’t know how to make it happen but I wasn’t going to give up on a beautiful mantle. I could feel my energy shift. I was feeling lighter and more adventurous.

Once again I spent time Googling everyone from masons to decorative rock folks. But this time I was open to alternatives. A friend’s brother had just redone his flagstone fireplace and recommended Don Weiss, the guy he used.

I looked up Don’s website. He did creative tile art. His work was beautiful so I called. From the start his energy was different. He really looked at the mantle. He looked at the damage and the whole wall. He recommended a limestone facing.  I was almost disappointed it wasn’t tile but thought, “Well, give this a chance.” He sent me drawings of the pieces he’d need and a price tag of $900.

Looking at the drawings I couldn’t figure out how it would come together. I made a cardboard mock up that looked bulky and stuck out way too far.  I emailed him with my concerns. He came back to the house and explained that there would be a curve in the front piece that would mirror the cove ceiling. He assured me it wouldn’t stick out too far. He had an artistic touch no one else had and I trusted him. We agreed to go ahead.

He fit me into his schedule and arrived with one of his workman. DSC02939 Two days later it was finished. It was beautiful!  Not only did I like it, I loved it!

DSC02942I was reminded again of the power of creating something you want vs. reacting to what you don’t like: the importance of holding your vision even when you don’t know how it’s going to happen; of not giving up!

Creating works!