Lessons in Chemistry

Lessons in Chemistry is a story of white patriarchy and the constricting, demoralizing stereotypes of women in science and in life. But it is also the story of women’s strength, love, and the general complexity of people, men and women. The story keeps evolving and I stayed engaged for 390 pages. It’s a good read.

I can feel the weight of being on the receiving end of how others defined what was acceptable for me to express, to be and to do in my life. I can still feel the anger in my body at times. But it’s being replaced by my ongoing commitment to being me and to discovering who and what I am. I’m letting my experience of me evolve and change, looking inward rather than “out there.”

Books like these bring awareness to how things are and have been in the U.S. They help many see they are not alone. Hopefully, they also challenge men and women to look at how they’ve supported and/or have bought into these stereotypes . After all patriarchy couldn’t continue without support. Although this book focuses on gender bias, the same holds true for race, class and other controlling boxes we put folks in. But there is hope.

Here’s to our growing awareness and freedom!

Be Happy

It’s the end of August
Official month of
“It’s ok to say you are happy”

I’m not a “Debbie Downer”
or, in my case, a
Barbie Bummer

I stand for the right
To be happy in the midst
Of world chaos

I watch the sky
Pet animals
Smile at people I don’t know

Paying attention
I read headlines but
I stay with facts

Drama helps no one
Being scared and worrying
Changes nothing

Thoughts become things
What we believe we become
Where we focus we follow

All life is precious
I find beauty and
good everywhere

Peace is a choice
I ask and I’m guided
And, I believe Love will Prevail

Birth Anniversary

Celebrate your Self coming into form,
Celebrate the love given and received,
It’s a chance to say, “What now?”
Knowing you are here today
because of all the other
birth anniversaries, and because of
all that happened in between.
The Birth Day followed
by all the Living Days.
Each day equally important,
propelling you on the path
called life.

I spent my birth anniversary (called a birthday) with friends, both in person and via the loving messages in cards and calls I received. I felt full, cared about and glad to be alive. I’m gently reminded there will be a Death Day. So I’m grateful for each day and choose to live it fully.

Happy Birth Anniversary! Happy Life!

Love the One You’re With

“If you can’t be with the one you love, honey,
Love the one you are with”
If you can’t be in the heaven you long for
Love the life you’re given on earth
If you can’t have the body you desire
Enjoy the one you have
If your loved one died
Let yourself love again
Turn your heartache into joy
Love what you have,
And, find peace.

David Crosby died Jan. 19, 2023. His death reminded me of all the songs Crosby, Stills and Nash sang, including “Love the One You’re With” sung in 1971 (written by Stephen Sills, 1970). Reminiscing about those times past, the advice in this song seems to fit a lot of things. Love what you have. Enjoy your life. Peace!

“More”

“You might notice that some cicadas have shriveled-up or otherwise damaged wings. Most of the time, their wings become damaged during the molting process (ecdysis), specifically while their wings harden (sclerotize). Their wings and body are most vulnerable when they are still soft.”*

Not all cicadas get to fly. They are most vulnerable when they are still soft, sort of like us. They get trampled by those who are stronger and faster. There are obstacles that prevent them from hanging the way they need to for their wings to harden. Sometimes, they are killed by predators, sometimes by those who are just scared and decide to step on them.

Seeing hundreds of cicadas living out their life cycle, driven by some unseen force, has me thinking. Cicadas live their life unaware, blindly competing and crawling over each other, trying to succeed, trying to get a chance to mate. Sometimes they are damaged though no fault of their own. Watching the human race, it can seem that a cicada’s life is way too much like our own. But watching the cicadas also reminds me…and I have hope.

Unlike cicadas, we can move beyond our basic instincts and power needs. We can question what we’ve come to believe about ourselves, others and the world . We can become more: more of who we really are, more self-accepting, more loving, more creative in solving the challenges of the world.

Cicadas may mirror how life too often is for us. However, they can also remind us that “more” is possible. I have hope.

*https://www.cicadamania.com/cicadas/why-do-some-cicadas-have-shriveled-up-or-damaged-wings/

Tomorrow is one of those days….

What will you surround yourself with?
Will you notice when fear starts to take hold?
Notice when anger starts to erode your peace?

This moment is all you have.
Breathe and look for the good.
Breathe and be thankful you can.

If love is all there is
If love is stronger then hate
then love will find a way no matter what.

Tomorrow is going to be a nonstop media circus, and it may go on for days.
Now is the time for each of us to decide how we want to live, how we want to experience this precious life we’ve been given.

We might as well consciously choose to accept “what is” because worry, anger, or fear won’t change it. Once we accept what is, we can choose how we want to respond.

We can choose peace. We can figure out what it really means to choose love. We can focus on what’s most important to us and embody it. It’s time.


” May love move me to co-create freedom and well-being for all.” from bell hooks

ECHO*

Do I blindly send back
what comes to me ?
One breath,
Sinking into
my own depths
I stop the
transmission.

It’s hard these days not to react. Sometimes it’s the news. Or, maybe you just got that post on Facebook. Sometimes it’s just what a friend or family member says with such certainty. Our reaction is quick: maybe a feeling of hurt, anger, or fear. Our thoughts go to judgment, defense, self righteousness, rationalization.

Can we really believe these times are a blessing? I believe it’s a time to really experience the world around us. And, instead of getting upset, learning to go deeper. Learning to listen to the deeper wisdom of our hearts as to why we are here, why we are experiencing what we are. Learning to experience the Love that is constantly creating this incredible world around us.

I’m learning to pay attention to my heart while experiencing life. Learning to ask questions and to wait. I let the Light (God, Divine Presence, inner knowing…) come to me when I’m centered and listening. And, I’m aware when I’m pulled back into the thinking mind. The mind that’s been conditioned by all that came before me and by all the conditioning that started the moment I was born. A mind that serves me but doesn’t understand and can’t experience the truth of who I am.

This is not an easy process. My mind is strong, my fears can still be great. But I am coming to trust that as I become more aware, I really can see the world through Light of Love. Love is stronger than hate. I’m blessed to be living at a time when I’m knocked out of my comfort zone.

*Inspired by Medium’s Chalkboard prompt “Echo” by Richard L. Boyer.
9/27/20

Can a chandelier do that?

We recently had the inside of our house painted.  In the process we decided to take down the chandelier in the kitchen. It was left over from before our kitchen remodel that added an center island/eating counter. The chandelier really had no function any more. It hung where once there was a table. Now it was in the pathway of those who walked through, occasionally bonking folks on the head if they came too close.
We replace it with a recessed light. It looks great. We both love it.

For the next several days my husband kept saying how much he had disliked that old chandelier; DRAIN_2_by_musky306_463480_disappearing_waterhow much he was glad to have it gone. After several days it hit me, on some level the chandelier had drained his energy every time he looked at it. He tolerated it but it bothered him. And what’s more, he had no longer noticed that it bothered him. Toleration numbs you out. The contrast when he talk about the new light was stark. He was vibrant.

I asked him where else he might be tolerating something? Areas where he’s pushed aside his desire for something because it was impractical or the wrong time.  Areas where he’s “making do.”  Often tolerations aren’t big things, e.g., a lighting fixture, but they are slow leaks in terms of our vitality.

What are you tolerating?
Either we love something or not; either we care about something or not. If you don’t love or care about it, why do you have it? Why spend your precious time on it?  What are you tolerating? It’s may be time to let go.

tol er ate (Merriam-Webster)
: to allow (something that is bad, unpleasant, etc.) to exist, happen, or be done
: to experience (something harmful or unpleasant) without being harmed
: to put up with

Fixing isn’t always what I want

Two years ago a candle melted on our fireplace stone mantle. I tried everything anyone suggested to get it up. I scraped, ironed over a brown paper bag to soak up excess wax, used degreasers, and finally carburetor cleaner to get the oily stain out. All suggestions were unsuccessful, many gave me a headache.DSC02414 - Version 2

I explored going to a local stone place to replace the worse section but I’m not doing it. Seeing the stain still bothers me!  WHY am I not taking action?

As I was berating myself for not getting it off my “to do” list the other day, it dawned on me:  I was solving a problem, not creating something I wanted. Yes, the stain bothered me, but I don’t particularly like the mantle. There is no energy around fixing it.  I’d fallen into the trap of fixing a problem (I really should…) vs. creating what I want.

So now I’m exploring what a different mantle might look like. I’ll create it or decide to live with what I have. Either way it’ll be a clean choice and will free energy that’s been trapped in the “I’ve got to get this fixed” mode for the past two years.
Creating works! Shoulds?…Well, not so much.

Lessons of a Creator : #1

Life is not random.  Each choice propels us in a direction toward a future.

One of the first steps in becoming a skilled creator is understanding the power of our choices; then, paying attention to them, deciding if they serve us.