And Religious Freedom is…..?

Warning: Written after reading about, and pondering, Trump’s draft on defining religious freedom. This post is blasphemous. It may offend you. Don’t read it. I just have to write it.

Sometimes I think the human species is like a fetus: full of potential. But, if the Life that holds it decides, it can be ended.

Like spoiled children we will fight to the death over our special knowing of God and His truth. We cannot conceive of a God bigger than our own religion, our own experience; it’s too scary. We have to be right, others have to be wrong. Complexity makes us uneasy, angry even.

We’ve grown in technology, our economy has spread across oceans, our science has discovered constellations and black holes….yet, we cling to our small notion of God. He couldn’t have blessed the Christian, the Buddhist, the Hindu, and of course not the Muslim, right? And the traditions of Native Indians? Well they were primitive, and in the wrong place at the wrong time.

We hold to the belief that there is only one path to God. And that path is, of course, through our particular Savior, Prophet, Enlightened One. We can’t even consider that God might delight in being discovered in a temple, in an ashram, a cathedral, a mosque or even just in silence. We can’t consider the possibility that He can send His Son with no intention of setting Him up in competition with Buddha.   We forget that all of life, all over the globe is His creation. Our God is small….

We’re not content to live our beliefs. We must convince others they are wrong. And if they don’t agree, force them…through law, through domination. When religion marries government, it can only go off. A sign the fruits of our beliefs are so weak, living them is not enough. God’s justice is not enough. We must intervene.

Abortion is the hot button. Murder! Yet we manage to put it in a different category than all the other life/death choices made. Choices made according to the criteria we’ve determined are right: collateral damage happens; who gets the kidney;  when profit is more important then clean water/air. We have fought righteous wars over sugar, land, oil. We argue over whether should there be a death penalty. We eat meat because we can (we’ve dominion over them).  God evidently set it up so we’d have to make choices, deal with gray areas.  We don’t like it.  

I think it’s why we focus so determinedly on abortion. Here we can be self righteous in our interpretation of “Thou shalt not kill.”  It’s emotional – a baby after all (or a potential baby). In it’s defense, we can put aside the times when we’ve made trade-offs about which life matters most.  In a world that is complex and messy, maybe we need to grab onto something that doesn’t immediately affect us. It’s a relief to focus on someone else’s womb, someone else’s choice.

I realize the irony of this post, pushing my beliefs in the name of Truth, as others do theirs. People I respect, who are sincere in their beliefs. People who don’t believe we can coexist: that someone has to win, one religion and it’s laws dominate.  I hope they are wrong.

In the meantime, be true to yourself. I know I will.

Today is the Day

Words always compromise the experience we’re having. But we try anyway.Image result for inauguration day
What is being present: now, today? What is being aware, awake, fully alive? How do you experience it? What does all this mean in difficult times anyway?

TODAY’S THE DAY

Cheers erupt
in triumph.
Tears fall
in disappointment.
Fears hover in the
shadow of what’s to come.

But I feel a place
of stillness, just
Spacious Stillness.

From here I know
love in action.
From here I know
it’s only in our
wandering off
that we forget

we’re connected.
Mirrors for each other,
loved by the very Universe
we’re scared of.
Loved beyond our possessions,
successes, our failures.

Hell is not being crucified!
Jesus died in love,
connecting and forgiving.
He died showing us
how to live…
no matter what…

It’s all about the Love
you are, the Love that you can share.
the Love that’s beyond understanding.

Peace!

The Mystery of Writing

For a while, I haven’t written. I wondered why.  Nothing seemed compelling enough to write about.  OK, actually no ideas were coming at all.

Rilke wrote in Letters to a Young Poet,  “Go into yourself. Search for the reason that bids you write…ask yourself…must I write?”

Elizabeth Gilbert in Big Magic, writes, “Ideas are a disembodied, energetic life-form…driven by a single impulse: to be made manifest. And the only way an idea can be made manifest in our world is through collaboration with a human partner.”  p. 64  She goes on to say, you can say “no” when an idea comes, but it will move on to someone else.

So I waited, trying to be alert to what might offer itself  to me. One morning, the words started to come.  I understood, at least for me, my writing.  And, I started letting it happen.

WRITING
You write where you are
Not where you are forever,
Just where you are
in this nanosecond.

Words flow through, Spirit, waiting to play.

To give voice to the words
that comes through you.
Traveling fast, as if sent
urgently from a distant place.

The ones that pay a surprise visit
as you’re about to fall asleep; the ones
urging you to write them down, to
hold them to a page so they can’t fly off.

Sometimes you think them
too bold for print, you fear
what others might say.
Still, you write the words.

A understanding, a phrase…
not for forever, just for right now
for this nanosecond
for this poem.

besliter, January, 2017

Why Grieving Often Takes Time

The world is our mirror. Our unresolved issues are reflected back to us through our circumstances, our lives, and in others.  Lucy the cat…my teacher. She was one of our daughter’s two cats we took in until we could find homes. But two cats were one too many. Lucy was the youngest and most easily placed I thought.  But my conflict about letting her go was palpable.  I finally realized the reason:  she was too much like Kelly. So, letting go–well, it has been messy. One home didn’t work out, another now looks promising.
In the meantime, I’ve allowed myself to see again how things are always interconnected.

Lucy

Thrown outside, found
in a tree – rescued.
Abandoned by death
taken in  – rescued.

Still curious, innocent,
Still trying to learn
to be herself,
Explore, taste, hunt

Sleep on bed.
Chase off competitors
Somewhere deep inside
always trying

to convince herself
She’s safe
She’s OK
She’s loved.

Reflecting
“not enough”
I don’t know how to play,
to comfort the deep wounds

not of my making.
Shipped off again
looking for the perfect home
It doesn’t work.

Suddenly knowing
there is no perfect anything.
Just love, just trying,
and the tears fall.

Peace Descending

Again while praying, I asked Mary if I understood. This came:

Mary at the cross
Mary holding the infantPeace.JPG
The circle of life
spiraling into the Wisdom
that we’re all a part of,
becoming conscious of,
resisting with all our might.

Less is more.
A nanosecond
holds the Universe.
Knowing the way through
to just be here
in love.
We can relax.

Love, not squishy
nor weak,
the Fierce Love
of everything
playing it’s role
to awaken us.
from the inside out.

[Sculpture: “Peaceful Form” by Thomas A. Yano]

What do you do with sorrow?

577363_445045265515601_2064592826_nAfter my last post, I realized that I’ve still been waking up with a sadness weighing down on me. Perhaps it’s from bearing witness to the confusion, anger, and fear that fills the news and our consciousness.

Trying to sort it out, I sat down to meditate. I found myself doing something different. I asked Jesus,  “Were You ever sad? I know you were angry, I know you were scared..but sad?”

The answer came: “My Mother was sad.” And, I felt her.

She knew sadness.
How pointless it all can seem.
How powerless we can be to stop it.

“They know not what they do”

The nurturing Divine Mother, who understands her children only too well.

Destroyers of life, beauty,
too busy,
Blinded by things,

Grasping for power,
Fearing loss, of
not being enough.

“They know not what they do”

Let our hearts break open! With nothing left to fear and everything to love, may we rest in the mystery and wholeness of life. Until then, we’ll push away, condemn, claim it’s not us, create artificial cracks in the wholeness of life. Until then–
tree

“We know not what we do”

When the world spins out….

Thoughts while obsessing about the the craziness, best-non-american-actors-and-actresses-5
violence, and suffering of this world.

Inertia descends.
I fear movement
Will crack

something open and
Things will ooze out,
Or worse, maybe in….

Occupy time
Wait
Become invisible

But it’s not enough.
Searching for answers,
understanding fails.

I know how to set
goals, visualize.
I don’t.

Trapped, not
wanting to admit
the world is shaking.

geesebesliter 11/1/2016

Needless to say, obsessing is not useful, uplifting nor something to cultivate. It does happen. I strive to notice its effect and then, move on.

Loving what we are…

There a spectacular music piece, released in 1985 as a fundraiser for the the relief of famine and disease in Africa and specifically for the famine in Ethiopia. It’s resurfacing again, the message I think is that we are in this together.earth

“We are the world
We are the children
We are The Ones who make a brighter day
So let’s start giving”

We are the World (Click to hear the original)

So, why do I feel sad when I listen to it?

Love…i want it
warm fuzzy
make me feel good

Loving…what is it?
seeing your beauty
knowing your goodness

Love…being
accepted just as I am
knowing you care

Loving you
with all your worts
with all your gifts

How far can I love?
How great a difference
can my love hold?heartworld

Families don’t always
love each other.
We are the world, but….

Is there time to learn?
God so loved the world,
can we?

Fall Musings – life and gardens

img_1131I feel like my garden looks. A bit overgrown, unruly. Goldenrod spreading and hanging over more modest plants.   Asters coming into img_1129their own but falling over as if to spread their beauty. The cherry tomato plant pumping out the last fruit of the season…a little smaller and more irregularly shaped. A bit of chaos I think I should do something about.

Vulnerabilityimg_1126 is an interesting visitor. It comes with the unexpected, with events you can’t control.  A native plant with its own notions of how it should be, a death, the changes of aging, the space of retirement…. Always there is a perceived loss: of routine, of control, a change that shifts your life in some way you don’t quite understand. If this could happen, what else?

You tighten waiting for the proverbial “other shoe to drop.¨  You feel suspended in the in between times. You long for what you only remember as being neat and orderly.

It’s too easy for me in times of change to try and control everything. I hover over those I care about. I pull in. My mind gallops along, running the race of its life, planning for everything.  How do I divide the ‘Autumn Joy’ Sedum, maybe there are native flowers that don’t grow to 6 ft. tall.   If I can figure out the perfect plants…

But then I go back out to the garden and remember. The uncontrolled, the wild and untamed can be img_1130beautiful if you stop thinking it should be something else.  If I let go of the “shoulds” about gardens, the memories of how it was when it was new and tame, the fear of what it will morph into, I see the beauty of it just as it is. It’s the judging that robs the seasons of their beauty, and most importantly, their place in life.

Fall teaches us to hold on lightly, to let go of what’s done, to love what is. I’m letting it sink in.

The Importance of Distinctions

What’s the difference between trust and faith?  In talking with a friend recently, she referred to faith as the concept she connects with God. It got me thinking about something I’ve told myself for a long time.

Some background: I always thought I had a trust issue with God. I questioned if He’d be there for me, as I knew he was there for everyone else.  Feeling alone as a child, I thought I’d too often prayed to God and didn’t get an answer. It was a story I  knew well.

This morning in meditation however, I realized something different.img_0532

Faith:     1) Complete trust or confidence in someone or something;
2) a strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on a spiritual apprehension [understanding] rather than proof. (from Merri-Webster)

I do have faith that there is something bigger than me, a Divine Presence who created the Universe, Who is behind its magnificent unfolding. So often in my life I’ve experienced grace, help that came to me when I needed it, something that seemed a problem working out for the best….    So where does this lack of trust in God come from? What is it about?

Trust: a firm belief in the sincerity, reliability, skill & ability, and credibility of someone (from my Newfield Network training).

My “aha” moment:  A child’s parents are like gods to them. Totally dependent, you accept much of what goes on as the truth about how the world works. Wouldn’t God treat you as your parents did (our Father who art in Heaven?)  It hit me that my trust issue was never with God but with my parents. Growing up, I felt I wasn’t enough….I gained favor through my accomplishments not for who I was (or at least as I interpreted it).

I didn’t trust my parents to love me with all my flaws, with my thinking differently, with my being trust1emotional (seen as weak), nor with having my own way in life. I didn’t trust them to support me the way I wanted/needed to be supported at that time.  And, I confused them with God.

So even as my faith has grown stronger, there’s been this lingering notion of not trusting God to be there for me. This, in spite of all the ongoing evidence.  Today, I know my parents did love me the best they knew how. I learned much from them. But they weren’t gods.

So understanding the distinction between trust and faith has been freeing for me.sky9-512

It’s allowed me to let go of a story I’ve lived with very long time.

Grace in action. smiley