Choices

New Year’s Eve: it’s a time to reflect on the past year and, instead of setting goals, listen for what calls me. Looking back over the years really, I see variations of themes. With the years, I go deeper in understanding and am better in my ability to embodying those things I’ve chosen.

For example, the four fundamental choices I made in the late 80’s working with Robert Fritz’s Creating Course*. I’m still choosing them.

I choose to be the predominant creative force in my life —- God works through me, as me but I must choose to listen and act on the guidance received. Silencing the mind and waiting to hear what’s mine to do, what I’m attracted to, what’s a next step (without the whole plan being laid out) is challenging. But, it is how I’m striving to live.

I choose to be free—-Letting go of all the conditioned responses, beliefs, and ways of perceiving that slip in-between what is and my experiencing what is. This, it seems, takes practice. I have found my feelings are clues as to whether I’m seeing clearly. Too often I’m reacting, my thinking based on my history, past learning, memories, on the rules and regulations of others…. I’m freeing myself to be who I Am.

I choose health—-I watch how food, drink, lack of activity can all rob me of vitality. I’m watching more carefully how stress can encourage me to numb out vs. just sitting with it and knowing feelings will flow, and that situations will change. The Body Temple, a vehicle for the Divine to manifest on earth… Well, ok I’m not quite at the Temple stage but I am loving this body that carries me around.

I choose to be true to myself—-My true Self, not the self that was defined by my “religion”, parents, heritage, genes, personal history, or the culture I live in. Choosing to be true to mySelf is essential if I’m to be the predominant creative force in my life. It may mean being on the fringe of groups. It definitely means not putting something outside of myself over myself. It requires that I trust, trust that I’m enough.

Some thirty years later I see how choices matter. How what has come to me is in response to what I’ve asked for. I’m grateful for my life, the people in it and all that was given me (even the experiences I wouldn’t have chosen). All of it enabling me to be here now.

Happy New Year 2020.

*The Path of Least Resistance by Robert Fritz.